The following story was the product of a writing assignment. I had to change a story from our family history into a fairy tale. I re-wrote the story of how my parents met. By the time I was done embellishing, the story was very, very different from the original! :-)
Once upon a time, in the middle of winter, there was young man named James. He was climbing a mountain to look for his lost hedgehog, when he came upon a small church hidden behind the peak. From within came the sound of singing. Here he stopped to warm himself in the back pew. Then the thought occurred to him that his hedgehog might’ve come into the church. The service was over, and he stood up, intending to inquire after his pet. Heading toward the front, he was stopped by a young lady who asked if he was looking for something. His tongue formed a couple of knots in his mouth, and he replied, “Mess, I yam. Have you seen a hogglehedge waddle through? I mean - a hedgehog? Her name’s Lucy Petunia,” he explained. The girl politely answered that her name was Elizabeth, and that she hadn’t seen a hedgehog or a hogglehedge recently. Just when she was going to ask what in the world a hogglehedge was, an old lady approached Elizabeth to ask if she thought the pulpit would look nice covered in artificial ivy. Elizabeth replied that she thought holly would probably be better for Christmastime, and the conversation quickly drifted to the that year’s Christmas pageant. James excused himself, and went outside.
He was halfway down the mountain, when he heard someone yelling his name. James turned around just in time to see Elizabeth rushing toward him on skis. The next thing he knew, he was flying through the cold air, heading straight for a drift. Thud! With some effort he pulled himself out. Looking around, he saw a large snowball near the foot of the mountain. Rubbing his eyes, he took a second glance. Wait a minute! ‘Snowballs don’t have arms and legs,’ he thought. But this particular snowball did, and it was waving them around wildly. Grabbing one leg, he pulled, and out came Elizabeth! Spitting out snow between sentences, she said, “Tomorrow night we are having a potluck at church. The main dish will be mystery meat casserole. Would you like to come?” He replied that he would, if at all possible. She grinned. “Great! Here’s my number, if you need a ride. My car’s in for repairs, so I’ll probably just bring the unicorn.”
The next morning, James called the number that Elizabeth had given him. A gruff voice answered, and insisted that there was no one by the name of Elizabeth at that number. Confused, James called again. In the minute that had elapsed, the man hadn’t changed his mind. Still no Elizabeth. “Are you sure she’s not there?” James asked the irate man. “Sure I’m sure!” the man yelled. “I think I’d know if there were an Elizabeth hanging around!” with that, the man hung up. James dialed the number again, but accidentally pressed a three instead of a two. This time, Elizabeth answered.
That night, the mystery meat casserole exploded. The end. Just kidding. James and Elizabeth were married, found the hedgehog, had a daughter and a dog, and lived happily ever after, until they had a son. Then everyone lived in fear. And Elizabeth still can’t ski. Don’t ask me how I know. The end.
8/28/2015 06:47:22 am
THIS. IS. HILARIOUS!! And it makes me VERY curious about what elements were close to the truth. ;) I especially love the ending. Now you live in fear.
I'm glad you liked it! The events that I based it off of are as follows:
8/30/2015 02:05:54 pm
Pretty funny, KD, and with a few touches of truth!
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