Dear Katie...

Below is an open letter to myself. It's a lot of things - rebuke, confession, exhortation, encouragement, and my new life direction. I have been changed through writing this. My prayer is that God would use this to open our eyes to how we sometimes ignore God's plans, and chase autonomy instead.

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Dear Katie,
  Well, you finally figured it out. Those tears? That was you realizing that the Christian life is not about being independent and self-sufficient. You've been deceiving yourself for so long. Quit listening to the voice that says self-sufficiency  and independence are always strengths. That voice is a liar. You can't just muscle through and do everything right by yourself. The guilt and embarrassment you feel when you mess up - that guilt doesn't own you anymore. You were bought with a price, and your Creator is still molding you into His image. He hasn't redeemed you just so you can blunder along on your own. You are designed to rely on Him. Running harder toward your own idea of perfection is only going to reward you with pain. Stop ignoring God's design for this season of your life. Submit to His plans - they are far better than anything you can achieve on your own. The submission His will requires is painful at first, but soon you will reap the joy He promises. 

  Now go and pursue God's design. Work hard, and pray harder. 

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For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. - Jeremiah 29:11

Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.
​- Proverbs 19:21